I am not an expert on this topic, nor do I claim to be. However, I do have some personal and professional experience with it. Here is my last piece of advice… decide what is really important to be fighting about with these children.
They really are bothered by the touch of clothing so no amount of bribery, coaxing, punishment, rewards will change this feeling that they have. It truly upsets them and you have to be sensitive to this or you will have lots of battles.
Here are some things we have done to help:
1. We have 2 “handsome” days during the school week. These two days our child has to wear a dress or fancier clothes. This is not to punish but to help on the days she has to wear nicer clothes. It also gives her a feeling of control over the other days.
2. We have tried LOTS of kinds of underwear. I highly recommend boy shorts for girls or even biker shorts. I know some parents that don’t even fight the underwear battle but do make them wear leggings or biker shorts.
3. Jeans are not worth the fighting about- they are uncomfortable to them.
4. Athletic wear is a favorite (like C9 clothing from Target or Reebok clothing).
5. We buy shoes that don’t require socks (lined Crocs or boots).
6. Short hair- brushing is not a big deal any more and we don’t fight the hair bow/ pony tail battle.